One of my psychology professors once described a presentation he made at business conference. His subject was depression among top executives, a problem serious enough to warrant its own session. After running through professional interventions like medication and psychotherapy, he told his audience, “There’s a simpler and far less expensive approach, though I don’t expect many of you to adopt it.”
He told them to choose one weekday a month to call in sick or take a vacation. He insisted on a weekday, since weekends are usually given to errands and chores. The professor called it a “soul day” and the rule was, do nothing of a goal oriented nature. No work, no phone meetings, no fiddling with Blackberrys. This was a day for those little desires at the edge of the mind: a walk in the park, a family picnic when others are working, trying one’s hand at watercolor.
There were lots of protests. When a CEO said he was too busy; the professor said that might be one of the reasons he was depressed. Someone else feared that if he let himself “slack off,” he might not want to get out of bed. “Then stay in bed,” the professor said. “Sooner or later you’ll get bored and think of something interesting to do.”
I heard this story 20 years ago and still sometimes put it into practice. It isn’t just for when you’re feeling blue; it meshes with the biblical concept of a day of rest, but it takes a special resolution, since most of the time, our days of rest are not very restful.
I’ve come back to it now because stepping outside of habitual routines can be a way of stepping outside of habitual ways of thinking, which feel a little stale as the season begins to change. This practice isn’t as easy as it sounds. It takes discrimination to separate what I want to do from what I think I should do, or other subtle forms of self-improvement. But I don’t have to get it right, since being perfect takes an inordinate amount of effort.
I began yesterday with a period of an easy sort of meditation, as opposed to some of the more energetic ones. Then I took a walk around the track at a nearby school – no problem there, for walking each day is a pleasure and something my body craves.
Later that day it took some effort not to attack a story that isn’t working, but the anxiety that came with the thought was a clue to let it go. I did allow myself 10 minutes with a tape measure, pencil, and paper to survey which parts of the back yard fence are in need of repair. Goal oriented, yes, but easy and the dogs needed to run around.
That’s how the day went. No reading except the Sunday paper and a light mystery novel. No writing except the opening paragraph of this post which I stopped after 10 minutes because I could feel myself starting to work too hard. No cooking in the evening – we went out to dinner and brought home a key lime pie, my absolute favorite.
Sometimes I think of old pictures of ancestors – those serious, even dour looking men and women, sitting very still as they peer into the camera. Often I imagine them frowning at “a slacker like me,” but maybe not.
I have a 4″ thick family bible that belonged to my great-great grandfather. He inscribed the family name on the cover page in 1856. I imagine him reading the good book aloud to his wife and eight children every evening after dinner. For all I know, he observed the sabbath better than I ever have. His family lived on a farm, and maybe they all took one day a week to rest and give thanks. And eat pie – if not key lime, then almost certainly, apple or peach.
Maybe they knew something I have forgotten – but it is never too late to learn.
Although I don’t currently have a very stressful job (unless looking for a job in today’s economy counts as a stressful job) I can still agree with this sentiment.
Where I’ve used this to great success was to help relax while I was in school. Every year since I graduated from high school, I’ve bowled on adult leagues (at least one, occasionally 2 or 3) and I always enjoyed it. No matter how much pressure I had from my classes, I always had that one night every week that was for me. A night where I wasn’t at work, and where I didn’t even think about school. That is something that I would definitely suggest to anyone entering college, pick one night a week and go do something you enjoy and don’t think about school or work on that night. I’d love to see everyone go bowling all the time, but if not bowling then go find something else you enjoy.
I love the idea of a Soul Day, and it would definitely be a lot cheaper than therapy or medication.
You get the idea completely. One nice thing about calling it a “Soul Day,” is that the name lends this form of personal time enough dignity that it’s likely to get on a busy person’s calendar.
I love this idea. It’s hard to imagine me putting it into practice, sadly.
It doesn’t have to be a full day – what about an evening or a morning or just an hour or two? A personal time out, tailored to you.
It’s funny that you, being fully retired, still find you need to push yourself to find time to relax. I have the same problem. There is always something calling out to be done. This is a great idea. As soon as I get back from what will surely be an exhausting, busy vacation, I’m going to try it!
Once an A-type…
I’m half-kidding, but since most people these days will understand exactly what you mean by “exhausting vacation,” I think it’s worth a try to look for what is *really* relaxing.
There was a radio program about just this thing, some time ago. They had a bunch of high-powered business-owning workaholics take one day a week off, something that they insisted they couldn’t do. On that day, they couldn’t get their lawn mowed or do any kind of “catching up on errands” stuff. They had a really hard time allowing themselves to do it, but in the end they learned that having scheduled downtime on a regular basis meant coming back to their work with renewed energy, fresher ideas and inspiration. The down time paid for itself 10 times over.
I had not heard about the radio show, but I think “renewed energy, fresher ideas and inspiration” is really what the whole idea is about.
For the most part I do this on Sunday’s we go to church and at times get dinner out, if not it is usually something simple like a bowl of cereal and fruit. Napping, reading or just passing the time. On those Sunday’s where there is an agenda, I feel it for the rest of the week.