Straight croissants

Even to me, this title seems to refer to the sexual preference of breakfast pastries, rather than its real subject, their shape. This is because “croissant” is French for “crescent,” and who ever heard of a straight crescent outside of higher mathematics?

straight croissant 2
Well, our cousins across the water are embroiled in a debate on this very subject.

Tesco, the largest supermarket chain in Britain, will no longer sell curved croissants. Tesco croissant buyer, Harry Jones, spoke of “the spreadability factor.” Curved croissants typically require three strokes to cover their surface with jam, the preferred topping of most Brits, while a straight croissant can be covered by a single sweeping stroke, thus cutting the risk of sticky fingers or table cloths. (1)

As a veteran of many sticky finger incidents involving restaurant marmalade containers, I can attest a Daily Telegraph editorial is wrong: it is not necessarily safer to eat toast!

Discussions of ease of use and symbolism fail to consider health implications. French law declares that straight croissants must be made with butter, while the curved varieties can use margarine.

In a world where so many familiar structures are in flux, curved croissants are now one less thing we can count on.

I guess there’s no help for it. Benjamin Turquier, last year’s champion Parisian butter croissant maker, said “I can understand the importance of symbolism and tradition, but straight croissants are more practical to make.”

Sigh…we’ll just have to learn to deal…

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6 Responses to Straight croissants

  1. “French law declares that straight croissants must be made with butter, while the curved varieties can use margarine.”

    Talk about bringing the law into disrepute! Never mind, the croissants will soon be replaced by baklava.

    Liked by 1 person

    • That might be a full circle kind of thing. The article referenced notes that croissants were developed in Austria and originally named kipferl. By one account, the crescent shaped rolls appeared in 1683, to celebrate the defeat of the Ottoman Empire when the siege of Vienna was lifted. Others date kipferl to the 13th c.

      Supposedly an Austrian artilleryman opened the Boulangerie Viennese in 1830 in Paris and they caught on. The motive behind the supermarket change will soon be as cloudy as the history. One fellow in Belfast tweeted that straight croissants are “preposterous,” and it must be “an EU directive…”

      Liked by 1 person

  2. If they make a croissant out of Je ne crois pas ce n est pas le beurre , what shape is it allowed to be?

    Like

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